Friday, April 20, 2012

CA Movies

What if Chartered Accountants start producing movies???

1. Munnabhai C.A.
2. Hamara Ledger Aapke Paas Hai
3. Kaho na Depreciation Hai
4. Journal Se Balance Sheet Tak
5. Kabhi Credit Kabhi Debit
6. Hum Tax de Chuke Sanam
7. Kya Yehi Credit Period Hai?
8. Main A/cs ki Diwani Hoon
9. Maine divide kiya
10. Maine divide kiyun kiya
11. Jab Jab Discount Mile
12. Petty Cash Apna Apna
13. Bill hai ke Pass hota nahin
14. Hum hai Accountant bekaar ke
15. Jo Tally hua wohi Trial Balance
16. Bus itna as BYAZ (Interest) hai
17. Tera 500 ka note Chal gaya
18. Dhai Akshar BYAZ ke
19. Tally 6.3 instal karke rakhna
20. Ab tumahare hawale pura account saathiyo
21. Balance sheet ki kasam
22. Kiyu Tally ho gaya na
23. Satte pe attha
24. Calculator sirf mere liye
25. Mujhe kuchh likhna hai
26. Solve karo to Cash lo.
27. Salary ke liye saala kuchh bhi karega
28. Accountant tune kya kiya
29. Rehna hai tally karke
30. Bill Vill Byaz Vyaz.



Smart man
 + smart woman = romance 
Smart man
 + dumb woman = affair 
Dumb man
 + smart woman = marriage 

Dumb man
 + dumb woman = pregnancy


Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime 


A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The Relationship

Outside India
In India
A woman you never fight with, because where else you will find such a dedicated baby sitter for free?
A woman capable of making your life miserable.
Still boring, but now a useful human species that comes in handy when the house needs to be vacuumed.
A boring human species, who listens more to his mother than you, and orders you around to serve him, his parents and siblings.
A person whom you have to call first to check and make sure he is not busy.
A person whose house you can drop into any time of the day or night and you'll always be welcome.
A woman who yells at you not to leave tub dirty when you go to take bath.
A woman who gives you your towel when you go to take a shower.
A teenager, who suddenly remembers he has lot of homework when you start mowing the lawn.
A teenager, who without asking will carry your grocery bags from the market.
A lovely doll, who brings you to tears long before her marriage.
A lovely doll, who brings tears to your eyes during her marriage.
A person to whom you pretend to obey, after all he is the one paying your college tuition.
A person you are afraid of, and who is never to be disobeyed.
A person without a secure job, who always dreams one day he will be rich.
A person with a respectable job and earning lots.
Indian Engineer
A money making machine, who has a money spending machine at home called "doctor's wife".
A respectable person with OK income.
A dance you do, when you don't know how to dance.
A vigorous Punjabi festival dance.
The same hi-tech guy, who does Ganapati Puja everyday, and says 'This is my last year in th e US (or wherever)'every year.
A high-tech guy, always speaks in American accent, always anxious to queue in the consulate visa line.
Softwar e Engineer
the guy can't speak proper English, wears jacket all the time, works in a Candy store at Manhattan, dreams of owning a BMW
the guy can't speak Hindi, parents of good looking girls are dying to hook him, wears jacket in summer, says he has a BMW back there.
A Green Card holder bachelor