Really neat one-liners
Cigarette:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
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Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
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Diplomacy :
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
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Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
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Ecstasy:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
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Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
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Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
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Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
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Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
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Experience :
The name men give to their mistakes.
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Philosopher :
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
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Diplomat:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
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Opportunist:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
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Optimist :
A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am not injured yet.
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Pessimist:
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY
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Father:
A banker provided by nature.
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Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest... Except that he got caught.
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Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
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