Thursday, August 31, 2006

Please apply on or before 14th Feb.

Applications are invited for the following post. The package and incentives are
mentioned below.

Designation : Junior girl friend ( trainee )

Experience : No Prior Experience, We need Good looking
Freshers (Aged 18-26) !!!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Perks and incentives.

Total gross ( Monthly ) : 3 gifts worth 300/-

30 bike rides each duration 2 hours

20 trips to Marine Drive

5 Trips to Parks

10 Kulfis / Chokobars at a regular gap of
3 days

Daily Provision of Vada Pav / Samosa Pav / Pakoda worth
of 5 /-

4 movies per month on every weekend

Visits to bird park and Shopper's
Stop
every Weekend


Pair of Jeans or T-shirts according to Demand

Net Deductions ( Monthly ) : Provident Fund and Service taxes to be informed
on joining

PS: Ex-girl friends will not be eligible for any referral
benefits and those who have applied in the last 6 months need not apply again
!!!!


For any clarifications on the job profile, please personally
meet the undersigned….



Regards,


CEO



Honorable MEN

Honorable MEN

Must Read for Every Man and of course Woman (to understand man)


If a female is reading this article then just realize the value of a man; and
if its a male then feel proud of after reading it!


"One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river,
his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked,
"Why are you crying?"



The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the
axe to make his living.


The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is
this your axe?" the Lord asked.


The woodcutter replied, "No."


The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. "Is this your
axe?" the Lord asked.


Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."


The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. "Is this your axe?"
the Lord asked.


The woodcutter replied, "Yes."


The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to
keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.


Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank,
and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared
and asked him, "Why are you crying?"


"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"


The Lord went down into the water and came up with Mallika Sherawat. "Is
this your wife?" the Lord asked.


"Yes," cried the woodcutter.


The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"


The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding.
You see, if I had said 'no' to Mallika Sherawat , You would have come up with
Bipasha Basu. Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife.
Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor
man, and am not able to take care

of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to Mallika Sherawat."


The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honourable
reason, and for the benefit of others.


That's our story, and we're sticking to it! - "WE HONOURABLE MEN!!!!!!"

Munna Bhai lage raho....

PROFESSOR

Gandhi Jayanti ke baray mein kya jantey ho?

MUNNA BHAI

Gandhi bahut jabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam,

par apun ko yeh nehin malum ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


CIRCUIT

Bhai, Bapu ne bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai.

Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.

MUNNA BHAI

Aye Circuit, woh Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai.

CIRCUIT

Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko.

MUNNA BHAI

Par Circuit, abhi to tu bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.

CIRCUIT

Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


MAMU

Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai,

aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?

GIRL

Ullu to raat ko bolta hai,

aaj din mein kaise bol pada?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


CIRCUIT

Bhai, woh apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla aaj raat ko dinner pe.

Mera sara chain collection apnay kamray mein chupa do na please.

MUNNABHAI

Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?

CIRCUIT

Nehin Bhai, woh apnay chain pechan lega.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


MAMU

Bhai, apnay ko char mahinay mein Tamil sikhna padega. Kuch upay batao.

MUNNA BHAI

Tamil kyun, aur char mahinay ka kya chakkar hai?

MAMU

Meinay ek Tamil baccha adopt kiya hai, aur woh char mahinay mein bolne lagay ga.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


PROFESSOR

Akal badi ki bhais?

MUNNA BHAI

Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


MUNNA BHAI

Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?

CIRCUIT

Bhai, gaadi hai.

MUNNA BHAI

Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?

CIRCUIT

Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


CIRCUIT

Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?

MAMU

Nehin.

CIRCUIT

To kha ke dekh le, pata chal jayega.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MUNNA BHAI

Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.

MAMU

Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?

MUNNA BHAI

Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


MUNNA BHAI

Mamu, tu kitna pada hai?

MAMU

B.A.

MUNNA BHAI

Sala, two akshar pada aur woh bhi ulta?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MAMU

Oye, maar gayay yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hai.

MAMU KA DOST

Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


CIRCUIT

Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai?

SHORT CIRCUIT

Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PRINCIPAL

Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200
Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.

MUNNA BHAI

Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu

Very good Sardar jokes.....Njoy

Interviewer: what is your birth date?


Sardar: 13th October

Which year?

Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR

Manager asked to sardar at an interview

Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?

Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.




After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife,

Do I look like a foreigner?

Wife: No! Why?

Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?


One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???


Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!


Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi

So Sardar writes, "Gandi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanthi.



Sardar was doing experiment with cockroach, first he cut it's one leg and told
WALK. WALK. Cockroach walked. Then he cut it's second leg and told the same.
Cockroach walked. Then cut the third leg and did the same. At last he cut it's
fourth leg and ordered it walk! But cockroach didn't walk. Suddenly sardar said
loudly, "I found it. If we cut cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf.





When sarda r was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver adjusted mirror.
Sardar shouted, "You are trying to see my wife? Sit back. I will drive.



Sardar went in a hotel. To wash hands he went to the washbasin. There
he started washing the basin. Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing.
Sardar pointed towards the board "WASH BASIN"


Interviewer: just imagine your in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you
escape?

Sardar : its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!