Suhaag Raat ka Maza

सुहागरात के बाद पति ने पत्नी से पूंछा :- कैसा महसूस कर रही हाे !

पत्नी ( शरमाते हुए बाेली ) :- आपने ताे मुझे कॉलेज के दिनाें की याद दिला दी !

Sardar aur Ling

सरदार ने रेलवे रिज़र्वेशन फॉर्म मे लिंग के जगह 6 इंच लिखा..

लेडी क्लर्क- लिंग क्या लिखा है,काटो इसको

सरदार - कितना?

लेडी क्लर्क - पूरा

सरदार -  मा***  चुदाओ, मैं बस से चला जाउन्गा!

Bachhe ka Khatna

एक डॉक्टर मुस्लिम बच्चे के ख़तने के लिए आया!

बच्चे का ध्यान भटकने के लिए डॉक्टर ने उसको बोला

डॉक्टर:~ “बेटा, वो देखो उपर सोने की चिड़िया”!

बच्चा गुस्से से बोला:~ “चिड़िया गयी माँ चुदाने, तू नीचे देख, टट्टे मत काट दियो!

Nirodh Kumar

एक दोस्त अपने दूसरे दोस्त के बेटे की Birthday पार्टी पे गया और उससे से पूछा.

दोस्त:~ “यार तूने आपे बेटे का नाम निरोध कुमार क्यूँ रखा है?”

दूसरा दोस्त:~ यार मैं अपनी वाइफ के साथ सेक्स कर रहा था, कॉंडम स्लिप होके अंदर चला गया, और उसकी वजह से ये हुआ, इसलिए!

Pappu aur Dushasana

टीचर:-  दु:शासन कौन था ?

पप्पू :-  बेवकूफ़ था!

टीचर:-  क्यूँ ?

पप्पू:-  द्रौपदी की साड़ी खींच रहा था  ............" उठा भी तो सकता था !"

Pyaar kya hota hai?

लड़की टीचर से:-  ये प्यार क्या होता है?
.
टीचर:-  जब तुम बड़ी हो कर अच्छी बच्ची बनोगी तो तुम्हाई एक प्यार करने वाला मिलेगा!
.
लड़की:-  अगर अच्छी ना बनी तो?
.
टीचर:-  तो बहुत सारे मिलेंगे!

Pati Patni Jokes

पत्नी:- हर हफ्ते तुम फिशिंग के लिए जाते हो ना? 

पति:- हाँ, हाँ, तो? 

पत्नी:- हरामजादे !, आज वो मछली आई थी, कह रही थी की वो माँ बनने वाली है

Adult Jokes - Hot Jokes in Hindi

Bus stop pe ek ladki wisper ka packet lekar khadi thi.


Bhikhari- kuch de do.
Ladki- Abhi kuch nahi hai.
Bhikhari- ye bread ka packet hi de do.
Ladki- kal aana, sos bhi laga ke dungi.

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Ek aadmi kabar ke uper baitha tha.

Ek Ladki udhar se nikal rahi thi.


Ladki:- Tum ko dar nahi lagta hai?


Aadmi:- Darne ki kya baat hai, andar garmi bahut thi, is liye thori der ke liye kabar se bahar aaya hoon.

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Sexy Miss ne class main baccho se pucha:- Mere marne ke baad meri Kabar per kya likha hoga?


Last seat per baitha baccha bola:- Mohtarma pehli bar akeli so rahi hain..

Adult Jokes | Bold Hindi Jokes

Doctor mareez ki ga*nd main ungli kar ke baitha tha.
Ek ne poocha Doctor sahab kya kar rahey ho?


Doctor: - Mareez ko ulti kara raha hoon.


Ek ne phir poocha kaise?


Doctor:- yahi ungli abhi uskey muh main daaloonga.

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Ek Aurat dosri se:- Jab Tumhara Talaaq huaa to Tumhara Ek Baccha tha, aur ab 4 hain. Kaise?


Dosri aurat sharma ke boli:- Vo kabhi-kabhi Maafi maangney aa jatey hain!

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A young girl after her honeymoon came fully exhausted and tired.


When her all friends asked her the reason of her tiredness?


She replied: - When this 70 year old man told me he has saved a lot from last 50 years, I thought It was “MONEY”.

Cool Jokes - Hindi Jokes

One day a man published an advertisement in the local Newspaper: "Wife wanted".


Next day he received a hundred letters.


They all said the same thing- "You can have mine."

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Always start your day with a lot of… S E X
S - SMILE
E - ENERGY
X - XCITEMENT
So make S E X a daily habit, and you will always B SUCC SEX FUL! In your LIFE.

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In a bath room,
A boy touches a girl everywhere!
You know who’s that boy?
Stupid It's Lifeboy Soap!
Dirty people always think dirty.

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Ek Pathan Bhari Bus Mein Ek Larki Se Touch ho raha tha.


Larki:- "Excuse Me! Aap Accha Nahi Kar Rahe ho."


Pathan:- Itney Bheed Mein Is Se Accha Nahi Ho Sakta hai.

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Mom:- Beta batao tumehre hath mein kitni ungliyan hain.


beta:6


Mom:- Gadha kahi ka, kitni baar mana kiya hai chaddhi mein haath daal kar mat gina kar.

Hindi SMS Jokes- Hot Sexy Jokes

Come here,
take off your pents and knickers,
get on top of me,
enjoy until u get satisfied,
loving yours…..
toilet!

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Train main wife husband se boli:- Aaj suhagrat hai kuch karo naa !


Pati bola:- Dekha nahin saamne kya likha hai? CHALTI TRAIN MAIN CHADNA MANA HAI...

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I am AMITAB, From 'KBC,


Is waqt apki Girl Friend Mere saamne baithi hai aur usko aapki help ki zarurt hai.


Agli Awaaz apki Girl Frnd ki hogi


Aah Aah, BACHAO....

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Lady 2nd floor se Kele wale ko dekh kr pochti hai ‘kela kesy dega?’


Kele wala:- mem sahab 8 me 12


Lady:- 7(sath) me 13(tera) longi. Deta hai to upar aaja..

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Ek kuwari ladki pregnant ho gai. Uske papa ne pucha ki ye baccha kiska hain.


Ladki ne kaha:- Papa chote-chote recharge daalti thi, pata nahi ye life time validity kaha se dal gayi.

Sardar Jokes- Hot Jokes

Sardar on phone:- Doctor my wife is pregnant. She is having pain right now.


Doctor:- Is this her first child?


Sardar:- No this is her husband speaking…

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Ek aadmi ne apni wife ko khat likha,"IS Mahine salary ke badle 100 kiss bhej raha hun".


WIFE ne jawab diya,'Aap ke salary ke badle 100 kiss milay,hisab bhej rahi hun.


Doodh wala 2 kiss main hee maan gaya,Teacher ko 7 deni padi ,Sabzi wala 7 main nahi mana toh 9 dene pade, Kiryanewala 9 kiss se nahi mana, usko 5 aur di, Makaan malik toh roz 6-7 ley hee jaata hai,Aap chinta mat karna, mere pass approx 35 aur hai, yeh mahina aaram se kat jayega !! 

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Ek sardar Ladies toilet Me chala gaya.?


Ek Lady boli ye Mahilaon k liye hai...


Sardar Guss Me apni pent khol k. . .


''YE B MAHILAON K LIYE HI HAI ,,

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Ek molvi khutbah dete huy: Aaj kal ki ortain itni barik kamezain pehanti hain, Itni barik shalwarain pehanti hain k unka jism saaf nazar aata hai, unki tangen nazar ati hai, unki kamr nazr aati hai, unke jism ki har jagah saaf nazar aati hain...


Peche se awaz ai Molvi sahab jumma pardho, mahol garam na karo..!

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Santa banta se yaar yah scooty kaha se laye.


Banta- ek ladki ne mujhe scooty per bitha kar jangal me le gai aur apne kapade utar ker boli jo chahe so le lo. Mein kapado ka kaya karta, scooty le aaya.

Hot Jokes - Adult Jokes

A girl phoned me
the other day and said …
“Come on over, there’s nobody home.”
I went over. Nobody was home

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Son- Aap roz papa pe chadh k jump kyu krti ho

Mom-Papa k pet ki hawa nikalne k liye

Son-Kya faida, kamwali papa k pent khol ke muh sai fir bhar deti h.

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Sexy Ladki In Sexy Voice: "Batao Na, Meri Panty Mein Kyaa Hai? 

Santa With Confidence: Elastic Hi Hogaa Ji, Aaj-Kal Naade Waali Kaun Pehntaa Hai.

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Sexy Jokes - Hot Jokes

What Foolish Concepts Society Has ?

If A Watch Goes Bad,

They Say BAND HAI.

And

If A Girl Goes Bad,

They Say CHALU HAI !!.


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Lady 2 Wakeel: Mujhe mre pati se talaaq chahiye.
Wakeel: Magar woh to kabaddi ka Champion hai.
Lady: yehi to problem hai Kamina sirf hath laga kar bhag jata hai.


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GirL In A Party To A Man:Excues Me Sir
Kia Ap Mere FACE Se 1 Cheez Hata Sakte Hein?

Man Khush Hote Hue
Han Han Bolo Kia?
.
.
.
.
.
GirL:Kuttay Apni Nazr Hata.


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Ek Ameer ne Ghareeb se pucha SEX mehnat hai ya maza?

Ghareeb bola sahab ji Zaroor Maza he hoga,
Warna agar Mehnat hoti to aap log ye bhi humse he kerwaty.


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Shadi k 7 din baad,
Saas Dulhun say: Kya tum meri di hue nai sari pehni?

Dulhun:- Wo mujhay 7 din se shalwar nhi pahnne de rahey!
Aap ko sari ki padi hai.,.,

Funny Jokes - Cool Jokes

The World’s Thinnest book is published with title - “WHAT A WOMAN WANTS”


IT has only one page containing only one word – “EVERYTHING”


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Veeru:- Mein apna purse ghar bhul aaya hu, mujhe 1000 Rs. Chahiye.


Jay:- Dost hi Dost ke kaam aata hai. Ye le 10 Rs. Riksha kar aur ghar se purse le aa.




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Ek Sardar gadhe pe baith k college jata tha?


3 saal baad paidal college jane laga.


Socho kyu ???


Kyu ki Gadhe ka Graduation complete ho gaya tha.




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Na mom ki Mar se,


Na Dad k Atyachar se,


Na Dosto ki Fatkar se,


Na Ladki k Inkar se,


Na Chapplo ki bochaar se,


Ladke Darte hai to sirf “RAKHI” ke tyohar se.


COMING SOON...

Hot Jokes - Adult Jokes

Once Tarzan undressed in jungle, seeing it all animals started laughing.

Tarzan asked – why you all are laughing at me.

They replied – we have seen an animal with a TAIL in front for the first time in our life.

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Men are like Tape Recorder …………….Forward, Backward, Forward, Backward, Forward, Backward, stop Eject……

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A kiss is called-

Humanity – if it is on cheek,

Love – if it is on Lips,

Passion – if it is on Breast,

Sensuous- if it is on Naval,

SEX – if it is on V?G?NA,

And BRAVERY – if it is on A S S H O L E.

Hot Joke

Mother found a condom in daughter's cupboard.

She went straight to her n asked: What is this?

Girl: तो आप क्या चाहती हैं, मैं इस उमर में मा बन जाउ?

Funny situations between boys & girls.........

BOY : May I hold your hand??
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Did you miss me while I was away??
BOY : Were you away??


GIRL : Who was that girl I saw you kissing last night?
BOY : What time was it??


GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me ...


GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??


GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest ...
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple.


GIRL : Do you remember when you proposed to me? I was so
overwhelmed, I couldn't speak for an hour ...
BOY : Yes Darli! ng, that was the happiest hour of my life ...


GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever ...
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??


BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??


GIRL1: Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
GIRL2: I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth


BOY : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours!
GIRL : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours!!!


BOY : Hi! Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
GIRL : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice!!!


BOY : May I have the pleasure of this dance?
GIRL : No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!!!


BOY : Will you come out with me this Saturday?
GIRL : Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!!


BOY : Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
GIRL : Okay, get out!!!


BOY : Shall we go and see a film?
GIRL : I've already seen it!!!


BOY : Do you think it was fate which brought us together?
GIRL : Nah, it was plain bad luck

Burning Calories

Taking off the clothes:
-With her permission: 12 cal
-Without her permission: 166 cal

Taking the bra off:
-With both hands: 8 cal
-With one hand: 11 cal
-With one hand being slapped: 53 cal
-With the mouth: 91 cal

Putting on the condom:
-With erection: 6 cal
-Without erection: 335 cal

Preliminaries:
-Trying to find the clitoris: 14 cal
-Trying to find the G spot: 107 cal
-Without giving a damn: 0 cal

Positions:
-Missionary: 13 cal
-Doggie-Style: 19 cal
-69 lying down: 20 cal
-69 sanding up: 137 cal
-Hostess trolley: 223 cal
-Italian Chandelier: 934 cal

Having an orgasm:
-Real: 115 cal
-Fake: 404 cal

Post orgasm:
-Staying in bed: 5 cal
-Jumping off the bed: 30 cal
-Explaining why you jumped off the bed: 894 cal

Getting the second errection:
-Between 16 and 19 years of age: 14 cal
-From 20 to 29: 36 cal
-From 30 to 39: 97 cal
-From 40 to 49: 376 cal
-From 50 to 59: 919 cal
-Over 60: 3623 cal

Putting on the clother:
-Quitely: 4 cal
-Hurriedly: 99 cal
-With her husband opening the door: 5190 cal