Bihari bacha ( A Too good joke )

A man from Bihar was away from his wife for four (4) years while his wife was in Patna (Bihar).
At the end of 4 years he distributed sweets to his colleagues in office stating that his wife had delivered a son.
His colleagues were quite shocked and they asked how this "Happy event" happened when he had not seen his wife for four years...

The man said it is common in Bihar that neighbours take care of the wife (good Samaritans) when men are away.
The colleagues asked him, "What name will you give to the son?"

The man explained, "If its the second neighbour who has taken care,then the name would be "DWIVEDI";

If it is the third neighbour then it would be "TRIVEDI",

If it is the fourth neighbour then it would be "CHATURVEDI";

If its the fifth neighbour then it would be "PANDEY"...

After listening to this, questions followed.

What! if it is a mixture of neighbours?
"Then the boy would be named "MISHRA"...

And what if the wife is too shy to tell the name of the neighbour?
Then it would be "SHARMA"...

But what if she refuses to divulge the name of the neighbour?
Then the name of the child would be "GUPTA"...

If she does not remember the name then?
"It is YAAD-AV"

But who knows whether the child resulted from a rape?
Then it will be named "DOSHI"...

Finally, if the child happened because of wife's burning desire?
Then he will be named "JOSHI"...

And if the whole country had made efforts for the happy arrival?....
"DESHPANDEY."

You Are Wonderful

The following story captured our heart. It happened several years ago in the Paris opera house. A famous singer had been contracted to sing, and ticket sales werebooming. In fact, the night of the concert found the house packed and every ticket sold.

The feeling of anticipation and excitement was in the air as the house manager took the stage and said, Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your enthusiastic support. I am afraid that due to illness, the man whom you've all come to hear will not be performing tonight. However, we have found a suitable substitute we hope will provide you with comparable entertainment.

The crowd groaned in disappointmentand failed to hear the announcer mention the stand-in's name. The environment turned from excitement to frustration.

The stand-in performer gave the performance everything he had. When he had finished,there was nothing but an uncomfortable silence. No one applauded. Suddenly, from the balcony, a little boy stood up and shouted, Daddy, I think you are wonderful! The crowd broke into thunderous applause.

We all need people in our Lives who are willing to stand up once in a while and say, I think you are wonderful.

And at times others are expecting this from you.

Are you telling them how wonderful you are . . .??????????

Say it now and make someone's day more pleasant.

GREAT FACTS ABOUT THE VALUE OF KISS

GREAT FACTS ABOUT THE VALUE OF KISS

1. An act of kissing puts 29 facial muscles in motion. In other words, kissing can be used as an
effective exercise to prevent the development of wrinkles.

2. Lovers swap saliva containing various substances e.g. fats, mineral salts, proteins while kissing.

According to latest studies, the exchange of the above substances can give a boost to the
production of antibodies which are made specifically to deal with the antigens associated with
different diseases as they are encountered.

3. As a rule, 66 percent of people keep their eyes closed while kissing. The rest take pleasure in
watching the emotions run the gamut on the faces of their partners.

4. According to U.S. statistics, an American woman would kiss an average of 80 men before she
gets married.

5. A quick romantic kiss will burn about 2-3 calories, whereas French kiss (an openmouthed kiss
with tongue contact) will obliterate more than 5 calories.

6. Sensitivity of the lips is 200 times higher than that of the fingers.

7. It is thought that men who kiss their wives goodbye before going to work live five years longer
than those who just slam the door. Men of the latter category are said to be more prone to
traffic accidents.

8. Smooching passionately for 90 seconds will elevate blood pressure and cause the pulse rate
to go racing. It will also increase the level of hormones in the blood, thus reducing life by one
minute.

9. French kiss is called a “juncture of souls” in France . Not only the lips do the job, the tongues
come into play too. The passionate French invented another variety of the soul kiss in which
only the tongues are employed.

10. Contrary to a popular belief, the Eskimos do not merely rub their noses against each other in
a display of love and affection. The lips open up a bit once the olfactory organs of the kissing
partners meet. Then the Eskimos take a deep breath and send the air out while holding their

lips closed. After savoring the scent of each other, the partners press noses against each
other’s cheeks and freeze for a minute of two.

ऐसा वादा न कर ...

ऐसा वादा न कर मुझसे की तू निभा न सके,
इतना दूर न जा की कभी मुझ पे हक़ जता न सके,
गलत्फमियों से न लगा नफरत की आग,
की चाह कर भी तू बुझा न सके,
न खीच दिल के आईने पे कुछ ऐसी रेखाएं जो चेहरा बदल दे,
की अपनी ही सूरत तू धडकनों को कभी दिखा न सके,
न बांध ज़माने के रिश्तों में मासूम प्यार को तू आज,
की कल खुदा सी पाक मोहब्बत के जस्बातों को तू कुछ समझा न सके,
है दम तेरी नफरत में तो छोड़ दे तस्बूर में भी मेरा ख्याल,
कहीं ऐसा न हो एक पल के लिए भी तेरी साँसे मुझे भुला न सके,
नामो निशा भी न छोड़ तू मेरी किसी निशानी का अपने पास,
लेकिन वक़्त के हाथ तेरे चेहरे से मेरे प्यार का निशा मिटा न सके,
सजा दिया नए रिश्तो की रौशनी ने मन तेरा जीवन,
पर यादों के लम्हों की दाल से ये मेरा नाम हाथ न सके,
इंसा से लेके खुदा तक सबने जिसे मिटाना चाहा
ऐसी मोहब्बत को भुलाने के लिए हम खुद को मन न सके,
न कर इतना शर्मिंदा मेरी मोहब्बत को आज,
की कल तू इस इश्क को अपने दिलके महल में सजा न सके.

जब कभी गुजरा जमाना ...

जब कभी गुजरा जमाना याद आता है,
बना मिटटी का अपना घर पुराना याद आता है।
वो पापा से चवन्नी रोज मिलती जेब खरचे को,
वो अम्मा से मिला एक आध-आना याद आता है।
वो छोटे भाई का लडना,वो जीजी से मिली झिङकी,
शाम को फिर भूल जाना याद आता है।
वो घर के सामने की अधखुली खिङकी अभी भी है,
वहाँ पर छिप कर किसी का मुस्कुराना याद आता है।
वो उसका रोज मिलना,न मिलना फिर कभी कहना
जरा सी बात पर हँसना हँसाना याद आता है।

मेरी माँ ...

मैं अकेला रो रहा था


तूनें कब की परवाह,


आगोश में जिसने समेटा


वो नहीं थी मेरी माँ।


मैं ग़लत था, मैं सही था,


तूनें कभी बताया कहाँ?


प्रेम से जिसने समझाया


वो नहीं थी मेरी माँ।


काश! तब समझा होता


तेरे मौन का मतलब माँ,


तू जगी, मैं सो रहा था


रो रही थी मेरी माँ ।


इस जहाँ में तेरा-मेरा


सबसे न्यारा रिश्ता माँ।


हौले-हौले मैं समझ गया


माँ तू ही थी मेरी माँ।

ज़िंदगी है छोटी ...

ज़िंदगी है छोटी, हर पल में ख़ुश रहो...
Office मे ख़ुश रहो, घर में ख़ुश रहो...
आज पनीर नही है दाल में ही ख़ुश रहो...
आज gym जाने का समय नही, दो क़दम चल के ही ख़ुश रहो...
आज दोस्तो का साथ नही, TV देख के ही ख़ुश रहो...
घर जा नही सकते तो फ़ोन कर के ही ख़ुश रहो...
आज कोई नाराज़ है उसके इस अंदाज़ में भी ख़ुश रहो...
जिसे देख नही सकते उसकी आवाज़ में ही ख़ुश रहो...
जिसे पा नही सकते उसकी याद में ही ख़ुश रहो
Laptop ना मिला तो क्या, Desktop में ही ख़ुश रहो...
बीता हुआ कल जा चुका है उसकी मीठी यादें है उनमे ही ख़ुश रहो....

Ek Dukhi Pati

**WARNING** THIS IS NOT STRICTLY TRUE IN EVERY SAALI'S. AND DO NOT TAKE THIS PERSONALLY!!
*What is the difference between Saali & Wife*
Saali is Beauty, Wife is Duty
Saali is Pension, Wife is Tension
Saali is Yummy, Wife is Vehmi
Saali is Pataka, Wife is Dhamaka
Saali is Cool, Wife is Fool
Saali is Tooti - Fruity, Wife is Kismat Futi
Saali is Fresh cake, Wife is earth QUAKE
If you have a Saali pass it on to her and let her know How you feel about her.This is your chance
If you haven't got a Saali then still Pass it on to others. let them have a good Laugh.

*Ek Dukhi Pati.*

Jokes in hindi

बीबी इन सेक्सी मूड  -  "आज मुझे रस्सी से बाँध के जो करना है कर लो"

पति ने उसे बाँध दिया ओर नौकरानी के साथ .....  :)

सांता : रात मेरे सपने मे लड़की आई 
वाइफ :अकेली आई होगी 
सांता : तुम्हे कैसे पता 
वाइफ  : उसका पति मेरे सपने मे आया था

यमराज हिजड़े से -  लाओ दुनिया में क्या किया हिसाब दो 
हिजड़ा - भोसड़ी के देके क्या भेजा था,जो हिसाब माँग रहे हो

सांता Kissed His Girl Friend In Park

Girl Friend -प्लीज़ ये सब शादी से पहले नही 

सांता - Don't worry, I Am Married.